Cant Talk

Words refuse to come out
I'd rather break down and snap
Then tell half the shit u don't know about
Then it hit me
U still don't know me

Better that way
Cuz who knows when I'll be put away
Better to stay masked
Than having to be asked
"Who are u"
How can I answer
When I'll never know

I'll be lost in this room forever
So toss me aside
And leave me behide
I'm used to it
Must be from u always doing it

I grit my teeth when I think of u
So when I go to say something
I'll bite through my lip
Or rip at my chest
Just a way to beat the stress of breathing around u

Crown Me For All Dis Pain

I've grown into something I can't explain
All I do is drown in your words
Words that pierce deeper than a sword

I aint dumb, I'm just going numb
Wish a lil more than I should be
Everyday is gettin worse
So I curse for that sun to rise
To that other surprise in front of me

I can't stand people
Not alone sober
I can't function anymore
So stop poor'n into me
No one can see how much I really mask of me

No matter how hard u try to convince me
I can't trick myself into thinking its right
So don't be such a hick to me
It will get u no where

Not Even Sleepn

Barely eattin
Now this is just cheatn
On this thing we call life
Now keep stair'n at this abyss

You know why ur this way
But u can't pay up to stay this way
Its taking u over
But u know u'd never leave ur lover
You can't look back now
Keep on running
But it won't be long till u'll be back

Its got a hold of u
But ur to happy to let go of ur monster
U just keep on change'n

Sober now
Scratchin ur eyes out
Matchn ur scars now
Hurry get to a bar
But that's not strong enough
So we have to take another
Walk with the monster

You'll Appreciate Me More When I'm Gone,

Oh wait Im already am gone
Long gone
So far gone u can't even see me
But ur blind as can be
U see right threw me

U can't change
And either can I
We are who were meant to be
History repeats itself
You treated me like a slave
And u wondered why I didn't behave

Why should I trust u
U must be insane to think I would
u left us
Now I'm leaving u
I can't believe what u put me threw
Who would have knew

Just say one thing to me
Just lie to me
Tell me everything will be alright
Even thou u know it won't be
I guess there's gonna be a lot of things to die with

People hate on the things they don't understand
We are who we are, even if we forget
So stop being so broken and say ur truth
Stop living in fear
Cuz I'm still here

This Aint A Hunch,

Touch her again
I dare ya
I might care for ya
But I'll still kill ya

U clearly don't know how much she means to me
Not even near close to wat u think
Here lett'em post it to ya

I love her so much that it hurts
Its -22 and I'm still thinkn of u
I can't get my mind off u
Who would have known, it would have be me and u

I'm sorry I demote myself
I just don't know to except myself
Ur the only one that does

I want this forever
No bullshit there
Imma change to be a better person
Just for u

Your Looking In That Mirror

And u know it not u
That's not ur eye colour
And u don't use that evil smile
But she wants to say around for awhile.

She makes u do things u'd never do
Forever she will live with u
This is one big bill
U can't get out of
Will people notice that ur not u?

Ur lying to everyone
Faken ur life
Maken urself be something ur not
One things for sure
U know how to play the game to well
Which gives u some fame

Now ur lookn back at me
Screamn at me
And just blaming me
For everything I do
But really its not me
Have u forgotten?
Your lookin in a mirror
And its only you..

You Clearly Cant See

Of wat I've became to be
How much I hide
Its not even a game to me
Everything is the same to me
I don't even have to try and hide the real me
This aint even a test to me
But it would be best if u stayed away from me

U must ignore it or I'm just to good at it
Now that kind of worries me
How much do u really not know me?
Can't u smell it, u've done it too
Come on u can almost taste it
Or u just wasted on me

You can't tell me u can't hear that laugh that aint mine
Can't u hear how my voice changes
Don't u see my eyes
Its not a lie
They do hold another side
U really are that blind

All u can ask is "do u need help"
Its to late for that
Check the date
Ur six years to late
Maybe now u shouldn't wake up and see
How baked my mind can really be
Its a piece of cake to know
That u can't make me change no more

Ur girl is gone
And the only one to blame is
This world u put me into.
Trust it aint you.
Maybe its better to not know the real me


Ps- There songs so don't worry about me

You Abused And Used Me

Now u do this to me?
How low can u be
And don't be bringn that hoe around me
How stupid could u really be

U see those lights flashn
That aint no joke
I'll start bashen ur face in
Then shit will start crashn

U coulda left me alone
But no u just had to start a mess
I didn't want it to be like this
But u cross the line
No we'll never be able to bind

Its hard to write anything good about u
U hurt me so much
I can't even start to describe

I can't eat nor sleep
No I don't heep cuz of u
Get it straight
I'm long over u
So stop bothering me

I might be sayn the same shit
Over again
But it never gets threw ur head
I don't want u

So Have You Grown?

How does it feel to have the last 6years alone and abandoned.
How you've lost all of the only thing you get once
Have you ever stopped to think,
And really take a look at what you've really done to me
How ripped apart I really am
How I'm torn down
I might as well been born like this

Most people would prove to me that they still need me
But now were both lost
You've made me like this.
Now you have to pay for this
And love doesn't even feel real now
Meals don't even taste the same now

Nothing is the same
And it never will be
I can't believe you can't see what you've done to me
Or you just hiding the pain
Do you really want to remain like this?
You seriously need to smarten up
And maybe for once show me up

I beat you at your own game every time
Guess what
I'm done with this
I'm tired of this bullshit
I wanna live my life
But how can I when u drag me down
Do I really need to push u out
Fuck it I'll just knock u out

I Aint Gonna Stop You From Leavin,

But I'll help you with your heavin'
Calm Down,
If you wanna go than go,
Im not gonna hold you back.
Im just not like that.

So just take a bat,
At it,
And see where it goes.
Make your choice,
And trust your self
And dont worry about bustin me.

Just believe in me.
I aint worth it.
Just dip, I wont flip
Someone always gets hurt with me.

Not gonna let you control me,
So stop patrolling me,
And just get over me.

How could you have lost me when you never had me?
You really want me that badly.
Now your drown'n in dis pain
And how you have nothing to gain.


My Inspiration - Eminem

Your Words Are Broken,

Just like you.
Maybe I really dont care about you.
I dont dare look at you,
Cuz I know Im hooked onto you.
Who has me weak on da ground.

My world will never be round,
Ya we're all gonna get hurt
Its life, get used to it.

You used to boust me up,
Now all you do is push me down.
Can I at least come pound some bottles back
One last time,
So this will be my past.
Now just keep pushn thous meomorys back.

I know you want me
And to be with me.
But I cant lose what we have,
All I want is de's booze.
So now let me smoke dis and let me cruz.

Dont worry next time shit goes down.
I'll make sure you wont be mad.
Cuz I'll make sure you wont have heard
From that damn little bird.
Maybe its time to shut my mouth again.
Im nothing but a disappointment.
So I'll stop running to you.
And hurtn you.


My Inspiration - Eminem

When Im Sleepin

Your always leepin threw my mind,
Which is something I cant seem to find.
Dont mind me.
Im some wat kind.

Now drop down to your knees.
And look up at these trees.
Nothing last forever,
Unlike me.

Your always broke,
So dont choke.
And play this hoax.

Or I'll put you so far into da dark
Just like wat I did to your buddy mark.
Ya you remember that park.

So dont be stupid
And end up dead in ya bed,
Just like he did.


My Inspiration - Eminem

I Wonder,

How many lies you said about me.
How much hate you put into me.
Now let see you say it to me.

Wonder how many lies you already told me.
How I just cant believe you,
Now cant even trust you.
Look how old this is gettin.

Look I know Im hooked,
On to you.
And you book that,
But wat can I do?

Why do you bother tryn to care?
Cant you see I still need some air.
I cant bair hear'n your shit,
I just really need this hit.

I need someone new
Who can understand me,
Unlike you.
Who blew me away.

If I wanted to fall,
I'd call.
Come on,
I dare you to throw this ball.

Oh wat theres something in my eye?
Oh nevermind,
Its just your fuckin lie!

I trusted you,
But then I busted you.
And you thought I lusted for you.


My Inspiration - Eminem

Gurl,

You make me wanna hurl.
Naw Im just kiddin,
Really your my diamond purl

You mean so much to me,
Just the way you touch me.
Your my whole damn world.

Slam me into a wall,
I wont call paul.
See if I care,
You know I wont dare
Hurt you.
I care to much about you.

Ya we might scrap over nothin
'N say crap at something.
But we know we'll be there after,
There for eachother
Like no one other.

Sorry when I get a lil off,
And start pullin your hair.
Its just sometimes I need a lil air.
Remember life aint a pair.

Even when its five in da morn'
You make me feel alive.
Its like your my five alive.
Ahah.
Now that makes no sence to me.

But wat does make sence?
Nothing is really at my expense,
With you girl.

Now these bitches better stop grillin at me.
Or I'll start drilln them,
With wat,
My god damn fists.
Dont test me bitch.

Flick on the switch,
And you'll see.
To not be afraid of me.
That I'll always be there.
Night n' Day.


My Inspiration - Eminem

This Is How It Goes,

And everyday I think about it.
How you made me burn,
Turn,
Turn back into something most people hate.
Well now shes here to stay,
So oh damn,
Here we go again.

You really havent had a clue of wat damage you really done to me.
How deep you put me down,
Down into that dark blue,
You put me back into a place I hate,
So you force me to pace over,

Over everything I've done
Blamming me for wat has been done.
Pushn me down and then maken me look like a clown.
U have no idea how angry I've become.

But I broke away from you!
So I can continue this toke,
Now look whos poke'n back.
Tryn to get there control,
Dont hack,
CUZ I AINT EVER COMIN BACK!

Love me, hate me.
Want me, kill me.
MAKE UP UR MIND.
Dont think it,
Just fuckin say it.

Stop torcher'n my damn soul
Im just tryn to pull myself together,
And try to be whole.
Soul?
Wat soul,
Oh right I dont have one,
CUZ OF YOU.

You drive me fuckn crazy,
And make me go all hazzy.

I lay up for hours thinkn of you,
Wat we've been threw.
Then it hits me,
How much this really gets me.
Wat you fuckin bit me?
I cant sleep cuz of you!
God I could fuckin hate you!

All you did was guilt me,
And you think you could have built me?
Stop trippn yo
U aint ever havein me again!

You have no idea wat you really have done to me,
Wat toll you put on me.
Damn I would like to hit you with dis poll.
And say everything to ya face,
And to get outta this endless pace.

You have no idea wats comin at you,
Some of the things I could say to you.
But wats the point,
Everything would just ping off of you.

Just like everything we did
Damn you dont know how much I really hid.
Trust you still dont know me.


My Inspiration - Eminem

He Aint Comin Back,

No one is.
They dont want you,
Get that threw ya head.

No one loves you
They used too,
But all they do is use you!
Really they fucking hate you!

They talk behide your back,
And sell all ya fuckin crack.
..Wat crack.
Wat da fuck u sayn man?
YOUR THE ONE WHOS CRACKED!
Not me,
Its the whole damn world that is,

Shit.
Im just tryn to get by.
Im just livin day by day,
Hoping I survive.
And I know I will,
If you stay the fuck outta my life!

So your lost,
Confused,
Hurtn some more.
And you just dunno wat to do.
Sittn there wondering,
Why does it have to be you.

Your angry
Hate'n everything,
N' everything is hate'n back on you.
You snap
Ya snap
But no matter wat you do,
You just cant find a way to come back.

Theres no way out now,
Your trapped..

There killn you from inside out.
Lying straight to ya face,
You knew it,
And yet still stayed n' helped.
For years and years,
You did wat they said.
And yet they spit right in ya face!
They still fucked ya over!
No matter how much you've done,
They still fucked ya over!

Over,
Ya.
Its over.
Not gonna handle this bullshit,
And this shit you call love.
Cant stand it when you lie right in my face.
Do it again,
I dare ya.
And ya wont have a mothafuckn face.

Done with dis shit yo,
Just leave me be,
If ya know wats good for ya.
Peace.


My Inspiration - Eminem

Why Do I,

Hate my birth name so much?
I barly answer to it anymore.
I dont like hearing it wat so ever now.
Its really weird in a way.
But watevers.

& Why do I,
Think da best thing to do is
Save up all my money.
And dip?

I know I got it all here.
I can make the best outta it.
And with my own money coming in more.
I can buy STUFF that will make me happy.
But that could turn down hill too.

Dunno why I always wanna pick up and leave.
Cuz I know if I do, Im gonna wanna be fucked up 24/7,
Cuz of da shit I will get myself into.
Why am I always lookn for a shit ass life?
Cuz its more interesting?

But then again,
I dont really remember da shit I do day by day,
That is interesting.
And I got my people here, well somewat.
Only have a few that I care about.

If I took off.
Where would be the first place I'd go?


Movie - 8mile

Straight Up

Im tired of people who cant just say shit to my face,
And think its better from them to hide it from me.
They think I'll never find out,
& shit will just slide by.
Clearly you dont know me.

One way or another I do find out.
It could take sometime to get the truth out.
But I will get it.
So dont bother covering shit up.

Why So Serious?
Cuz thats the type of person I am.
For some reason its just hard for people to take me serious.
Im tired of that shit.
Wish people could stop disrespecting me.

Deal with it.
This is how I am.
Dont like it.
Get da fuck out.


Eminem - Talkin' 2 Myself

Fucked Over..Again

Well aint life a bitch
Its just really hard to trust anyone now
Boyz more soo.

I should just give up on emotions
And people for awhile
Just not care
And live life day by day

Dont rush into anything
Your just gonna get hurt.
Be vague with people
Let it be an effert for them to be in your life.

Sorry if I become a bit of a bitch
Of course no one likes gettn hurt
But Im starting to get tired of peoples bullshit
And I need to look after myself for once..
..Yaa thats not gonna happen
But wateverss

I got my girls
Its all I need to pick myself up again
<3

Eminem - No Love

I Knew That Would Come,

For you to say it
& Really tell me how you feel.
To be honest with you.
I've always felt da same.
I didnt know how you felt about me,
So I never said anything.
But just gave you clues.

Shit everything over da years I've said is true.
How I'll always be there, no matter wat.
If you've done something soo stupid
I'll still love you.
It dont matter.
I do love you.
Always remember that.


Eminem - Going Threw Changes

Ps- Your my world girl <3

10 Figgy 5,

Next time you see me
Say,
"Watt upp Doggg"

If I talked to you last night,
You would know
Well maybe not even then
But anywayysss

I hate it when I know something is coming,
& I cant do anything to change it
Like you can try to work around it
But its not gonna be da same

Or waitn on someone
You cant force them to do something you want/need
Yet you can, but it wont be the same
Or the way you want it too be

Soo pretty much, it pisses me off when I cant do shit
& All I can do is sit there and wait

Everyday I look at all the different path my life could take
But why is it the one where Im at risk all the time
The one I want.

I think I just want people to let me run my own life
I can look after myself, trust.
But I want people to understand how I am as a person
Why I cant control my impulses

And for people to stop slackn
Tell me shit straight up
& Dont play this fuckin waitn game or any stupid games with me
Dont lead me onto something and then dip.
Dont piss me off
Dont test me
Get your shit together.


Drake - Find Your Love

(Watch da movie 8mile)

Trust,

Is something I cant rely in a lot of people.
& no matter what, I still seem to be getting fucked over.
So why bother right?

The more I stick around people, the less there is for me.
I find out shit that pisses me off
Or I knew the truth all along
But they never had the guts to say it.

Ya, theres alot I wish I could tell people
But I aint riskn my life to tell a story that haunts me.
Plus da bullshit in my life will never stop.
I know that shit for a fact.
Why when I can Im disappear'n
But that comes later on.

Oh and what really bothers me, is fuckin shit talkers.
Theres to many of them.
Just shut up and deal with your god damn shit.
And I hate how no one can take me serious.

I know alot of shit is gonna go down.
I'll be there for it, and for who ever needs me.
But dont think theres much emotion left in me.
There aint much left of me now.

Trust, is hard to get.
And once you lose it,
Have fun tryn to get it back.


Eminem - Space Bound

Im Sick & Tired Of,

Looking in the mirror and unable to see me
People bitching about life
Being controlled by everyone else
Hateing who I am
Always being put in the middle
Missing the people I cant or dont always see
People stealing and living my dreams
The stress of everything around me

Falling apart on people I love
Always wanting to drink, cut, or do drugs
People who think they understand me
Trying to be something Im not
Being in pain
Wishing time would stop
Thinking of my past

You not seeing all the pain Im in
You not realizing you caused it
You never calling me
You affecting everything I do
You not knowing who I am
You not there for me
You killing me slowly

Can you see that Im angry?


HIM- Drunk On Shadows

Been Falling Longer Then I Thought

Its sadly but true.
Its only when you cant fall asleep and lay there thinking about your whole life.
Thats when you really notice it.
I can still see myself falling at times.
I've become softer inside, more emotional.
All those years holding it inside, keeping myself together in a way.
Now Im just ready to fall apart, and just brake.
Will you be there when I lose it?

Everyone has a story,
And I wanna share a bit of mine.
Its my past. And theres nothing you can do about it.
But more I think about it, I dont want too.
This is where I used to be able and vent
But I dont want you to know me.
Maybe in awhile I will share some more.
Hint is, it all started in grade 6.

But I want to vent here without people "checking up on me"
Just leave me alone, because you'll never really know me
I wont let you in.
So back the fuck off.
You really dont want to deal with me.


Mudvayne- Happy?

These Constant Dreams,

That I keep on having,
They wake me up in the middle of the night crying or confused.
I think about them for the next few days, too a few weeks.
Why do dreams confuse the crap outta me like this.
I wish someone just knew EVERYTHING about dreams,
Like why we had that dream and what its telling us.
Cause shit, we know dream books are just fucking cracked out.

I keep on running away, or going on adventures.
I used to talk about just randomly taking off one day and just going everywhere.
Or to just go somewhere and hitch-hike to somewhere and back for a few weeks.
But it worrys me, like since Im still having those dreams, does it mean I still want too?
Is there something in me that wants to just run, start over, hide, or unhappy?
I always think about that shit over and over, maybe theres something missing?
But thinking of this just gets me worried and pissed off.

Running Away Dreams:
-Lucy always tends to be the first one too find me
-I run back to the people I try to forget about
-Im always being lead around like I have no control
-Its like I know where Im going and have been there before but I know I havent
-I start off running away with crying and bleeding
-Sometimes wish I was there since no one had control over me
-Always have green eyes in the dream and when I wake up

Adventure Dreams:
-Always with a random group of guys and maybe some chick or Lucy
-Running around towns I usually know but turn into somewhere else or the woods
-Go to restaurants and stores then steal shit
-Sleeping in abandoned places/things
-Doing dangerous life threating stuff
-Usually wake up with a few cuts