The Usual Thinking Thing

I hate this so much. I feel like im going insane. Like I really just dont know what to do with my life anymore. I just wanna die somedays. I really dont know where im going in life. And I really think I should be dead be now.

I've been thinking alot lately. And wish I kinda havent. I've been noticing that I've been hiding again, keeping everything locked up. I dont know whats wrong with me. I feel like im on the edge to breaking down soon, or really snapping, who knows when. I feel like im losing it. I think alot of people are right now in a way.

I feel so frustrated, and lost. And with weird emotions, like I cant control them. I just dont know what to do anymore. I dont want to black out and not be able to come back. I live in fear of myself.

I want to do things and see where it takes me. Not plan it, I just do as things come at me. I "wing it" all the time, thats my whole life right there. I really just dont care...