For The Next Few Years,

I will slowly die
Hoping I will recover

2 more years of nonsense
But will I be able to leave even after?
Am I strong enough
Will I speak up
Will I get out

But is that really the end of things?
Or the start of a new hell?
Will it ever stop?

I'm continued to be stuck in this abused world

I'm hoping she will know how to save me
I hope she can deal with me
Will she be enough,
Or will I push away?

Will I last that long to keep sane?
Or am I already insane?



--Dedicated to woman stuck in abusive relationships.--

Going No Where..

I watched u change
Watched u fall slowly

I hate crying for u
And u don't even know it

I'm tired of being hurt
In pain
Being strong for everyone all the time

Im scared to face day by day
The thought of u breaks me

I can't breathe
I feel un-needed
Might as well throw me to the ground
Feels like u already put me there

I have no idea wat to do with u
Make up ur mine
Want me around?
Or not
What am I to u?
A phase.

Don't be dragging this longer than it has too

Fck You, I'm Alive

Noticing…

How much better I am without you
How much you hurt me & what you put me through
How you put me down everyday
How much I hated myself & life
How much I hate you
How I now have anxiety

Why did I stay with you?

How much happier I am now without you
How you helped me find myself
How you shaped me
How alive I am now
How I enjoy my life

Because of you…

I’m haunted, but yet better.
Im learning what true love is
I like girls alot better
I found my lover
I know what really matters
I want to really live my life
I know you cant trust everyone
I know its hard to forget

Because of you, Life is so much better

I Look Like A Dead Person,

Someone I don't know
The someone that used to be me
Imma burn every journal that reps wat I used to be
I don't need anyone knowing who I used to be

Even if that was for the better
I don't know her
So it doesn't even matter
I don't wanna try to remember
Who I am is me now
That's wat matters

Wanna buy a bottle of jack for all the wrong reasons
I don't wanna go back to how I used to handle things
Your hack'n at me
Bringn me down
Get away from me

Can't remember how life used to be.
The longer ur out,
the more I don't want to know.
Maybe its meant to be that u shouldn't be near me
Don't even talk to me

This is ur loss
Not mine



PS- I wrote this a month or 2 ago. Was sitting around so just posted it now

Grasp Me

Hold me
Love me
You do everything right to me
I know u'd never hurt me
But I'll always still fear it
Even thou I know
That pain aint near

I couldn't live without u
Don't think I ever will be able too
My world would go fable without u
I can't bare being without u
I'd rip out every hair for u
People should never dare to interfere
For I won't care
I'll never will let it happen

I was never in shame when I'm with u
Its the greatest thing I could feel inside
Why can't people see how lucky I am
Do I really have to throw them away to show how much I love u?
I'll never let u go
You could put the biggest bet on that

I'm so torn without u
I was born to be with u
I know it when I see u
I love you
And that's a fact
I'm lost without u
I'll go no where without u
All I got is u
I love you

Just Try Me One More Time

Dare u to push me
Test me
Let's see how far I'll go
Quick think times runnin low
Oh, here we go
Tik-tock ur done

There's a reason why I don't tell u anything
No matter wat season
Things won't change with u
Quit maken me hang here
We're not gonna be
Cuz u were never there for me

You don't even know how bad ur hurtn me
You'll never understand the person I was born to be
Let me live this life that is mine
Its not ur fault with how I am
I chose to be dis way

So leave be for u get hurt
Cuz its not gonna be me dis time
I'm not gonna let anyone get in my way
U can't force me to be something u want
I'll never know wat I want if u keep pestering me

I Cant Lie To Myself

These thoughts have to die
There just rippin at me
Its like constant drippin pain

There never enough time to tell u
Everything I've ever felt
How could I really be this blind
And not see it was always u
I've always loved u

I gotta quit this screaming in my head
I can't win a battle that's against me
There's just no way around it
And the war has just begun
How much can I handle?
I'm getting closer to the edge, dare you to push me.

No matter how I look at it
It will always stay the same
Some people really do never change
U can't convince me
That things will get better
My head doesn't work that way

I take everything the wrong way
& see how everyone is against me
But really there just trying to be friendly
The closer I let someone in, the more I'm hurting myself
Trust.. Doesn't exist
Its dead and gone
Like me