Moving Forward,

With you.
Will be the best thing for me.
I really cant see myself without you.
Lately I've been seeing alot of things.
Things I've never seen with anyone else.
And theres nothing more then I want,
A life with you would be everything coming true.

I've quit alot of bad habits for you.
Its hard with a few, but your a good reason for me too.
I know I tend to go crazy at times.
But I find alot of built up shit comes out when Im with you.
I can relax more.

I just want to make you happy,
Like you do for me.
And to share a life with you.
I know Im not perfect
But I'd do anything for you.
I love you.

I always have a feeling that if I do talk about things like this.
I jink it.
Maybe why I try to avoid somethings.
But I know this is what I want
And just dont want this to scare you off for when I do talk like this.
I dont know how you'd take it if I said this in person.

But I truely do know that I love you Matt.

PS- I want raspberrys =)

Looking Back,

On how I used to be.
I've noticed how the person I was is no longer in me.
Its been to long for me able to find her.
I keep thinking it was just the kid in me
And I've just grown up.
But Im not to sure if it was just that part of me.

I know a part of me died when you left us.
Some part of me I'll never get back.
You've broken me, and I hope you know that,
But you'll never fully face the truth of it.
How alot of my actions were because of you.
You need to learn how to be silent and listen to me.
Did you know those two words have all the same letters in them to spell eachother?

Its weird how everything I write about invoids you.
How much shit is built up and what I really wanna say to you.
Why do you think Im never around?
I barly know you anymore
As you barly know me.
Keep telling yourself that you do.
Whatever helps you sleep at night right?

And everytime we talk, its usually the same shit over and over.
I wish you could be there for me like you used too.
But this distence is making me stronger.
So learn to let go, cause I am.

Decode It

Theres something I should say but.........................Why should I
Get into that now and ...........................................Tell you?
It may hurt for you to hear, so ............................When I know
Nothing good will come out of it.
Why bother?

..........................................................................You
Will freak out and I ..................................................Dont
Want that, I ..........................................................Care
And love you.



PS- This isnt going toward anyone, I just thought it was cool and that was the first thing to come to my mind, weird enough. And its how my favorite author Ellen Hopkins writes.