People just have to get that I am who I am. Im two different people, I have uncontrolable impulse's at times, and Im bi-polar. Im different from the rest, more then you'll ever get. Everything is all about control for me. And how I think, well put it this way, Im really depressing. Why do people deal with me, I have no idea.
Understanding yourself is harder then you think. But the mind is even harder to get. I've been through alot more then what people think, half my life is blacked out and Im still learning what I have done in my past. Somethings that I wish I didnt have to remember as well. Something that people shouldnt have to live with at young age, or even ever. As time goes on, I find myself hiding more, and being more in fear with myself. Hating everything I've done and lived for.
Im I just as bad as Kat? Or am I really just one person thats going crazy and blames everything on nothing. Am I blaming it on the person thats not really there? Or am I thinking to hard and she real as I am. Im really that outta wack to be able to tell. So I must be really that torn from myself. Im stuck behide a shadow, unable to see infront of myself. I cant keep going on like this, but I guess it just sounds better when no one has to hear it.
Have you ever thought of how one person, one small thing can change your entire path of life. No matter what it is. And knowing a huge part of your life that you'll never know is gone since its changed, or just from one person leaving your life will also effect everyone else's. Everything changes forever. Unable to fix your past. Does that drive you crazy?
Have you ever loved someone so much, but knew they could do better with someone else. Yet you just cant let them go cause there so great to you and you'd regret forever if you did. You want to love them and give them everything. But you ask your self, how do I give what has always been taken?When I close my eyes and hear some people speak. Its like a ecoing voice fading away, dying in the distance.
